An Excerpt from a Growing Mind
A few years ago, I would have debated my way out of confrontational situations that questioned my raison d’être. No, not because I derived some pleasure or peace in being avoidant, but it was a state of mind capitalized on norms, values, and morals from my family tree or perhaps the forest.
Yes, I read them in gestures, remarks, nuances, and biases that sashayed themselves with contempt. Of course, I cared loads about what people said and became very athletic in an attempt to become the progeny of those who experienced the world in different shades before my existence became the product of an afterthought.
As an avalanche of emotions cutting across all sides of my mind’s intersectional lens cascades in splits of happiness, joy, peace, sudden clarity, and what not, voila! I think I’m experiencing a eureka moment, or it’s all in my head. While trying to distinguish from the blobs of emotions I’m covered in to decipher if it’s solely a reflection of my state of apathy, I’m elated I finally feel something, though controversial.
Why did it take me so long to discern that humans are fleeting, and I didn’t have to pour all my eggs into one basket? Or why am I suddenly coming to terms with the fact that the best way to navigate life is getting a Brown Girl Jane to remind myself with every spritz that everything is ephemeral until otherwise proven? While it sounds cliché to be present, I am consciously unetching the call of duty emblems. Yes, I am happy with not caring if the thread of remarks regarding my choice to live in the moment is insulting or not because I value their regard so little that I don’t care either way.
Again, here’s a subtle reminder to live in the moment and enjoy the variants of different adventures that comes with being human because whether or not you worry for the future or care much about the train of thought of others, Que sera sera.
